By Surya Pillai
April 11, 2025: In the past, I believed that offering suggestions, solutions, or making an effort to address problems was necessary to be supportive. My personal growth has shown me that our presence coupled with our compassion provides more value to another person than offering advice.
Holding space for someone means the complete act of being present.
This simple idea consistently attracts people who are looking for it in their business relationships, personal relationships, and therapy sessions. We will explore the essence of this idea and suggest ways to practice it more deliberately.
What Is Holding Space, Really?
To hold space means physically and emotionally connecting with another person without attempting to solve or change their current situation. There should be an environment that allows people to freely express their ideas and feelings without fear of reprimand, interruption, or rejection.
There is no requirement to possess the right words or solutions. Creating space involves allowing someone to express themselves through support without any expectation.
Why We Often Feel the Urge to Fix
Naturally, we want to help someone we care about when they are going through a tough time. Our support involves giving recommendations along with attempts to lift their spirits and finding solutions. But this urge can backfire. This kind of behavior conveys the idea that their emotional state is out of control or needs to be changed. The feeling of loneliness tends to intensify under these circumstances. People require someone to be present with them silently throughout their experience instead of pushing them toward answers or transformation.
How to Practice Holding Space
How can we apply this strategy in our day-to-day activities? The following steps provide a practical approach to this matter:
1. Be Fully Present
Turn off distractions. Focus on them. Put your own speech on hold and avoid all other distractions so that you can give them your whole attention.
2. Listen Without Interrupting
Refrain from giving advice or sharing personal stories when the other person needs to talk freely. Just let them talk. Your main responsibility during this conversation remains to grasp what they are saying instead of taking control of the discussion.
3. Avoid Judging or Correcting
Allow them to communicate their complex and disorganized emotions. Your duty is to be present during the conversation rather than judge right or wrong situations.
4. Offer Gentle Reassurance
Instead of giving direct answers, use phrases like “I hear you” and “That must be really hard.” This method lets them know they have someone who is looking out for them.
5. Stay Grounded in Yourself
Don’t absorb their emotions. Your steady demeanor will create an environment where they feel comfortable expressing everything without restraint.
Where It Shows Up: From Therapy Rooms to Friendships
Being able to hold space is a crucial skill for therapists. Therapists are trained to maintain emotional engagement by creating safe spaces for clients to explore their inner worlds without feeling pressured. The practice is not limited to professional use. Being in leadership roles and having relationships with friends and family can help you develop the ability to hold space.
Holding space between individuals fosters meaningful connections, trust bonds, and healing opportunities without the need for someone to act as a fixer.
A Personal Reflection
A particular day left me emotionally exhausted with no words to describe my condition. In addition to being calm, open, and attentive, my close friend joined me without saying much but kept presence. I needed someone to sit next to me instead of direction at that moment. All I needed at the moment was someone to be with me. His unspoken support for me was more helpful than any response could have been.
Why It Matters Today
In today’s world of incessant talking and attempts at problem-solving, holding space is an action that stands out for its impact.There is no action that can impact someone else’s life as much as saying “I am here.”
In many cases, genuine presence—without attempting to change the situation—proves to be more valuable than any other action.
Looking to Go Deeper?
If this strikes a chord with you, pause to consider this: When was the last time you or someone truly made room for one another? Kindly share this article with someone you think might benefit from it or feel free to leave a comment below.
